Eclipse Fever! Catch It!

• America is making final preparations to experience today’s total solar eclipse for the first time in nearly 100 years — naturally, humans are losing their minds to varying degrees, and smart radio stations are taking full advantage of this rare promotional opportunity.

Hubbard Radio’s WREW (Mix 94.9)/Cincinnati will be putting a few lucky listeners closer — 13,000 feet closer, to be accurate — to today’s eclipse than anyone else in town — via the magic of skydiving! Yes, it’s “The Sandy Show Big Eclipse Trip.” At the peak of today’s eclipse, Mix 94.9 morning host Sandy McIlree will jump out of a perfectly good airplane, accompanied by four equally insane listeners to enjoy a once-in-a-lifetime view. Co-host Holly Morgan will smartly provide color commentary live from inside the plane, which is scheduled to take off at 2pm, with the jump occurring at approximately 2:25-2:40pm, timed to the peak of the eclipse.

“We couldn’t think of a better way to see the eclipse,” said McIlree, adding, “As far as we know, this has never been done before!”

• As your family struggles to procure enough protective glasses to properly witness today’s eclipse, Milwaukee Radio Group’s WHQG (102.9 The Hog)/Milwaukee insists it has everything under control — all while testing the patience of its loyal listeners. When the eclipse begins in Milwaukee at 11:53am, The Hog will mark the moment with all of the reverence, awe and historic respect it deserves — by dropping the needle on “Blister In The Sun,” that iconic masterpiece from Milwaukee’s favorite sons – The Violent Femmes. Admit it — you’re already playing it in your head.

Here’s the fun part — “And then we’ll play it again and again… and again — until Milwaukee reaches maximum darkness approximately 90 minutes later,” the station says. “The first listener who is able to sit through all of the plays of the song and is able to call in with the correct count of plays will win $1,000.” It’s as simple as that! Group Marketing Director Scott Schubert helpfully explains to RAMP, “We tried to come up with the dumbest idea possible for this, but we must have missed the mark… because management still approved it!”

• Today’s eclipse just happens to conveniently fall within the boundaries of the “KFOX Commercial-Free Nine to Noon” on Entercom Classic Rock KUFX (98.5 KFOX)/San Jose — Sweet! At 9am PT today, KFOX will suspend regular programming and launch the “KFOX Total Solar Eclipse Soundtrack.” As the station proudly announces, “We will play a special mix of celestial-themed favorites, highlighted by the playing Pink Floyd‘s Dark Side of the Moon in its entirety and timed out to perfectly coincide with the eclipse!”